This is my letter to Mason. I originally posted this on September 1, 2013, three months after losing my son to suicide. It popped up in my Facebook reminders today, and I wanted to share it again to give my friends and followers some insight into the Grief journey and...
Memory is a funny thing. It can recall the most random of moments and erase the most necessary facts. It will remind you of what you wish you could forget and deny you the very thing for which your mind searches. Memory does what it wants, when it wants. Try...
Today I dreamed of him… I saw his face. I saw him smile at me. I spoke with him and soaked up the goodness of him. I wanted to share him with the world, to tell everyone he was back. I spoke to a few people and kept repeating the same...
This weekend is kind of a big deal. My stomach knows it. The butterflies are fluttering about, vying for my attention, tickling at my awareness. My intestines also know it (TMI?). Sometimes they get a little nervous before an event, which I suppose is a good thing because it keeps...
There are moments in life that will send you to your knees, reeling with disbelief, begging for divine intervention. There are moments that will deliver a gut punch so powerful and so precise, that you will struggle to breathe for the rest of your life. There are moments so unbearably cruel, so...
Is it super ridiculous of me to ask for a ‘barf bag’ when my friend offers her support for an upcoming speaking event? I know it is tacky. Crude, even. I know it is weak and self-absorbed. Believe me, I know. I think my biggest fear these days is the...
Sitting in the Martins' kitchen on Thanksgiving Day, thinking about all of the things I am grateful for… well, actually, that’s not entirely accurate. I’m thinking of the things that make me laugh. I’m thinking of the things that make me wistful, misty-eyed, sentimental too. I’m marinating in memories and...
Sometimes we find ourselves in a tough moment. Maybe we created it; maybe it was imposed upon us. Either way, it’s a bad one. We all have bad moments. Sad moments. Scary moments. Sometimes we land in a good moment. A great moment. A lovely one, a happy one. Moments. Our...
Showering has become an issue again. I just cannot force myself to do it regularly. It’s strange how things that were such a high priority once upon a time have become such an unbearable chore. For a year, I wrote and wrote and wrote. I wrote about my feelings, my...
Christmas is my favorite holiday. Was. Christmas was my favorite holiday. I’d deck the house from top to bottom with Christmas décor and my home became a winter wonderland. I remember pulling into the garage one afternoon, sometime in April, and seeing all of the storage bins full of Christmas...