Sometimes, I think I get so distracted with thoughts of death that I limit my ability to focus on life. When I realize I am doing that, the pendulum swings radically in the other direction and I am determined to laugh a little louder, breathe a little deeper, and suck...
Halloween has never been my thing. Oh, I did it up for Mase ‘cause that’s what mamas do, but it’s never been the holiday that really tripped my trigger. Now, even less so. Mase, age 3 As I sip my coffee and consider my evening plans, I’m wondering, “What does a childless...
I saw him in my dream a few nights ago and he was so beautiful! In his early 20's and so amazingly handsome and confident, he had a backpack slung over one shoulder and a relaxed grin on his face. He showed up to travel with me. I was so...
It’s strange to be writing this because I still feel like I am living in a dream, a nightmare of the worst kind. I still hope I will wake up on June 3rd, 2013, and have a chance to do it all over again and save my son’s life. But...
I was never fully convinced that I had a soul until I felt mine shatter on June 3rd, 2013. I had always suspected we were spiritual beings, and forever hoped there was something more eternal than just this temporary existence on earth, but what confirmation do we have? Faith is...
The following is what I wrote in preparation for sharing a piece of my story at Casa de Luz on April 28th, 2014. "My name is Holly Chamberlain. I am the founder of the aMasongrace project. The aMasongrace project exists to empower and support young people, share a message of truth,...
Who wants to lose their child? Who thinks it could happen? Who could predict that on February 16, 1999, the clock would start counting backwards from 5,221 days? We know our days are numbered and our physical presence on this earth is finite. However, we never expect that number to...
I’m doped up on meds and numbing the grief. Yeah, I said it. Me. The girl who insisted on “feeling life” – the good, the bad, the exhausting, the sad, the painful – is now heavily medicated. Is there shame in that? Nope. Not for this girl. Here’s how it...
I want a second chance. I miss my son so much and I cannot stand this new existence without him! I want to make a deal with the universe or God or whomever – I want to get Mason back. Can’t I just rewind? What kind of bargain can I...
I’ve been stuck on the topic of happiness lately, trying to figure out whether it is a choice or an involuntary feeling, a response to external circumstances. Can I just choose to be happy regardless of my situation? I’ve pondered the differences between happiness as an external response and joy...